I am a recent college graduate w/about 30k debt forced to live @ home w/ a very NEGATIVE family- how to deal?

It's extremely difficult [ borderline impossible ] to change other people. Much easier to change your attitude towards them, I sense some 'poor me', self-pity in your question, be more accepting and forgiving. You mention bathroom mold / dust/ etc., why can't YOU help clean the place if it bothers you !