Wednesday, August 10, 2011

What should I do about all this?

Over three years ago I was diagnosed with several anxiety disorders. Geez, I don't even feel like taking the time to write this, as I've done it so many times. My parents are stupid and don't really understand what it's like to have anxiety, they think that everyone has it and that it's normal for a teenager. They just don't get it. I failed one course this year, but still manage to have a 90 average for my first two years of high school. Is that decent? It's not what I would've hoped. I'm pretty smart, and I tell my parents I would've been in the top 20 had I not had so much anxiety. They don't buy it though. They've come to believe that I'm just a lazy, narcissistic sixteen year old who thinks he knows everything. I'm on Prozac and Buspar, and my doctor gave me Klonopin the other day. I haven't taken it yet, and my mom's reluctant to give it to me at all because she thinks I'll become addicted. It's just so...gah! I don't know what to do. Through it all, the one thing that makes me keep going is the idea that one day I can be a huge success, that one day I could be in the Senate. That's my dream. I've studied the Constitution (I wrote it all out by hand last night), I've learned Latin and Spanish, and am going to learn Russian. I've read a bunch of political books (including the Communist Manifesto). It's just...I feel so hopeless. I want to be a great leader one day, but this damn anxiety is consuming my life. And all the while, no one seems to believe me. Or they think I'm overexagerrating...what do I do?

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